Adam’s Greatest Hits

This section is dedicated to showcasing Adam’s Olympic-level mental gymnastics about whether we were actually together or not. According to him, he was very clear the whole time—because nothing says “clarity” like doing all the things a couple does while insisting we weren’t one.

Let’s start with the basics: we weren’t using protection because, according to Adam, he was only with me. Totally makes sense, right? Why bother with boundaries or honesty when you can just dangle exclusivity in front of someone while simultaneously denying any commitment. And then there’s the fact that we talked almost every single day from 2019 until mid-2023, and then every other day until March 2024. But sure, Adam, we were nothing whatsoever. Just two strangers acting like soulmates for half a decade. Makes perfect sense.

Oh, and the trips! Adam and I went together on these adventures. Birthdays in Boston, NYC, Rhode Island, Texas, LA, Arizona, San Francisco, and Seattle—because nothing screams “we’re not a couple” like flying across the country to celebrate someone’s birthday or hang out during your layovers. He’d specifically want me to come out if he was stuck in a state for a few days, like some sort of part-time girlfriend subscription plan. But no, clearly, these were just friendly get-togethers! Nothing romantic at all, right?

When I’d try to get some honesty—like, *“Hey, if you don’t see us being anything, let me know so I can create some distance”—*he’d hit me with the classic “I care about you more than anyone in a long time” routine. Oh, okay, so you don’t want to commit, but you also don’t want me to move on? Classic Adam logic: keep me tethered just enough to make sure I don’t leave, but never enough to actually make things official.

So here’s the rundown: Adam insists we weren’t together, but the texts and the trips and the daily conversations tell a completely different story. He can claim he was “very clear” all he wants, but the receipts are here—and they paint a picture of a man who couldn’t even figure out his own feelings, let alone communicate them. Enjoy the chaos!