Adam Torgison: the man, the myth, the moral disaster
Who am I?
All Rights Reserved Disclaimer
The content on AdamLeeTorgison is provided for informational and educational purposes, reflecting my firsthand experiences and honest opinions from my personal relationship with Adam Lee Torgison. All posts, screenshots, messages, DMs, photos, comments, court documents, and related materials are presented as-is and are factually accurate to the best of my knowledge.
This blog does not make false claims or defamatory statements. Everything published is supported by documented evidence, and every opinion is a constitutionally protected statement under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. Public figures or individuals involved in matters of public concern are subject to a higher threshold for claims of defamation, and I am confident that all content shared here falls squarely within lawful expression.
Any attempt to sue for defamation or libel based on this content would require proving actual malice(as defined by New York Times v. Sullivan) and would be rigorously defended. I am prepared to support every statement with receipts, and any legal actions will only serve to amplify the truth.
The information here is presented with no malicious intent but rather as a record of my personal experience. By accessing this site, you acknowledge that the author is not liable for any perceived harm to the subject’s reputation due to the presentation of factual evidence or constitutionally protected opinions.
Powered By:
The Unshakeable Truth
Receipts Galore
Adam’s Own Words, Actions, and Bumble Account Choices
In Summation:
If you don’t like what you see here, maybe you should’ve made better life choices. Just saying.
Captain Adam Torgison
The Mile-High Misconduct Marvel
Caesars Entertainment really struck gold with Captain Adam Torgison—a man so committed to full transparency that he treats his cockpit like a confessional booth and his text messages like subpoena bait.
When Adam’s not actively sexting mid-flight, requesting hookup tapes to “sneak off to the lav,” or casually reflecting on just how painfully hard he is while flying a jet full of VIPs, he’s playing amateur court stenographer—declaring, without a shred of legal training, who is and isn’t a rapist. Most notably, he anointed Evander Holyfield’s manager with that title. No investigation needed. Just vibes, a bad attitude, and an email.
Client confidentiality? That’s for the peasants. Adam name-drops hedge fund titans, high-rolling passengers, Adele’s manager, and even Caesars executives in casual text tirades—mocking their requests, questioning their hygiene, and groaning about having to “kiss their asses.” Truly, nothing says elite aviation like passive-aggressive whining about the people who sign your checks.
And when a child with breathing issues boarded the plane? Adam responded with his signature grace: “Probably COVID—damn those Chinese and their virus.” A cultural ambassador, he is not.
All of this while maintaining a romantic side. Nothing says forever yours like “I wish I could just end you” via phone call, amongst other threats of violence. And yes, the texts discussing this incident will be posted. Stay tuned.
But hey—who are we to judge? Caesars clearly knows talent when they see it. Adam’s the total package: horny, hateful, and high-altitude hostile. If the FAA ever runs out of airspace violations, they can just read his text history for a breath of unethical fresh air.
More texts coming, for each incident and individual Adam personally names and complains or talks shit about. As always everything is dated, time stamped, and backed up to the cloud.
Captain Adam Torgison,
who flies high while sexting mid-flight & snapping selfies in the jet’s lav.
Mile High Misconduct: The Texts Adam Didn’t Want You to See
Captain Adam Torgison: expertly navigating cruise altitude and explicit sexts mid-flight. Because nothing says professionalism like worrying whether your flight attendant caught a glimpse of Margot’s anatomy at 39,000 feet. Caesars, he’s really earning those wings.
Nothing says ‘professional aviator’ like beating turbulence and beating it mid-cruise. Captain Adam Torgison, proudly multitasking in the skies while sexting about explicit photos—with the flight attendant potentially getting front-row seats. Caesars, this is the gold standard you’re flying with?
Just your average day at Caesars Aviation, where Captain Adam Torgison sneaks into the lav mid-flight to listen to porn audios and gets super hard while passengers and flight attendants are feet away. Truly the gold standard in elite air travel professionalism. Hope the FAA and Caesars HR enjoy the in-flight show as much as he did
Captain Adam Torgison, Caesars’ premier sky-perv, caught mid-flight trying to hide his hard-on from the flight attendant. Because nothing says “professional pilot” like struggling to tuck your boner while texting about sex at 40,000 feet.
This is Captain Adam Torgison—Caesars’ very own airborne flesh rocket pilot—desperately fiending for lesbian moaning voice notes mid-flight like the turbulence in his pants is the real in-flight emergency. While high rollers and families trust him to get them to their destination alive, he’s busy texting “Did you listen to them?” like a feral incel with a cockpit fetish.
Nothing says “your safety is our top priority” like Captain Adam Torgison locking himself in the aircraft lav mid-flight to quietly beat it to lesbian audio porn like he’s flying for Pornhub Airways.
Passengers: “Is that turbulence?”
Adam: “Nope, just me rocking the cockpit.”
@Caesars, is this the elevated in-flight service y’all are bragging about? Because your pilot just made the mile-high club a s
DISCLAIMER: WHEN RED FLAGS BECOME CARNIVAL TENTS
Welcome back to the circus that is Adam Lee Torgison’s life
Welcome back to the circus that is Adam Lee Torgison’s life—where bad decisions soar as high as the planes he irresponsibly flies. That’s right, folks: not only is this man a liar and a cheat, but he’s also a pilot who has been lying to the FAA medical doctor for years about his sleep apnea, tightening chest, and his new habit of spiraling into paranoid fits that began in mid-2023. Shocking, right? The FAA still doesn’t know about his breathing issues or the fact that he reacts to normal questions like someone who thinks the government is tapping his toaster.
Let’s start with his elite tech paranoia. This moronic troglodyte didn’t realize that if he constantly spammed me with memes and videos on Instagram, the algorithm would start suggesting accounts he interacted with most.
It’s not sorcery, Adam—it’s literally how Meta works.
Facebook and Instagram are connected, but to him, it
might as well have been the CIA orchestrating a full-scale operation. The spiral began when I jokingly asked about a podcast he had been liking posts for—because it came up on my feed. I listen to podcasts, so naturally, I clicked.
His weird, accusatory behavior kicked into overdrive, accusing me of stalking his followers and comments.
But wait—it gets better.
In his infinite wisdom, Adam reactivated his old Bumble account, which is how we originally met, because he convinced himself I was “hacking” his phone. (Spoiler alert: Bumble doesn’t work that way, Adam.) What this genius failed to realize is that reactivating an account—even in incognito mode—makes you visible to people you’ve previously swiped on.
And that’s exactly what happened. A young, attractive Asian teacher’s assistant nervously came up to me one day, showing me his Bumble profile, asking if it was really Adam or if his ex Monica was stirring the pot. Turns out, Adam had swiped on her right before or shortly after we met.
When I (reasonably) asked Adam about it, he acted annoyed and played the victim, accusing me of always bringing him drama. The best part? Over a year later, Adam smugly admitted that this Bumble fiasco “proved” I was spying on him, as though he cracked the case.
Newsflash, detective: Bumble requires a verification text
to your phone to log in. No one hacked your account, least of all me, because I was in a relationship with you, you absolute buffoon. But no, in his mind, it was all part of some grand conspiracy against him.
Now let’s move to early 2024, when Adam’s emotional distance reached new heights. I started looking at his likes and comments on Instagram (finally embracing the stalking he was already accusing me of), because his behavior was making me doubt everything. I had asked him repeatedly in late 2023 if his feelings had changed—October, November, December—and every time, he’d act annoyed, brushing me off with, “I’ll tell you if my feelings change,” while reminding me how his ex Monica had damaged him too much to “ever feel normal again.” (Poor Adam, eternally wounded.) In reality, he was already emotionally cheating with someone in a relationship. Classic.
One night in January, Adam canceled plans last minute after I’d already paid my sitter . I decided to go out, and that’s when I ended up being sexually assaulted. While I texted and called him in tears, Adam was nowhere to be found. To this day, he’s confused about why I partially blame him for what happened, and yet he claims to be a feminist.
He’s such an expert on sexual trauma that he told me people who are raped or assaulted can’t possibly feel manic or suicidal in the aftermath. (Thank you for your professional insight, Dr. Gaslight.) And just to really drive home how great of a guy he is, Adam physically cheated less than two weeks later.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the man who loves to claim he’s “pro-woman.” If you’re not already choking on the irony, just wait—there’s always more where that came from.
Enjoy the receipts. Or don’t. Either way, the truth is staying here.
I told one of the women I slept with that I didn’t want Ava
Checkout that conversation! Since I’m a scum bag I also slept with her friend with no protection!
I’m like the greatest guy. I portray myself to be completely honest but all these women all thought I was only sleeping and taking to them?? However did that happen?
Next Screenshot. Someone tell Monica Stengel! She should contact all the women he screwed.
“ A Memo to Monica Stengel: The Unofficial Adam Torgison Survivors Club”
Oh, Monica, if only you reached out to the women who’ve been unlucky enough to spend the past six years dealing with Adam Torgison’s greatest hits of mediocrity, you’d discover the horrifyingly common thread binding us all: his tired narrative of being the world’s greatest dad and the misunderstood victim of your jealous wrath. According to him, you’re just bitter because he rejected you. Sound familiar? It’s the same tired line he spins about every woman he’s crossed paths with. Apparently, we’re all “crazy psychos” who can’t handle rejection from a man whose life accomplishments include…well, nothing notable.
Here’s the thing about Adam: this sanctimonious, thick-headed moron actually believes that every woman who’s ever had the misfortune of being with him must be utterly devastated when he moves on. The truth? We’re just pissed that we wasted so much time with someone who thinks their mediocre dad routine and “look how misunderstood I am” schtick makes them irresistible. Newsflash, Adam: not everyone is heartbroken. Some of us are just horrified by how low our standards were.
Let’s take it back to when I was recovering from a C-section—you know, when I was physically vulnerable and emotionally raw. Adam calls me, with all the empathy of a wet sock, to guilt me into giving up my child by insisting it would “ruin Ava’s life” if I didn’t. He even threw in a bonus guilt trip about how you’d use it against him. So, while still doped up on meds, I agreed to something I didn’t want to do. And somehow, Monica, that’s my fault too? Of course, the relationship tanked, and naturally, it was all because of you, right? Except…no. Adam ruins his own relationships, all on his own.
The funniest part? This man is 50 years old, lives paycheck to paycheck, doesn’t own a house, doesn’t even own a car, and somehow thinks it’s reasonable to pay his ex’s bills. That’s right—he was paying Celeste’s bills while she conveniently had the money to travel to concerts but not to pay her rent or car registration. Make it make sense, Adam. When I pointed this out, it wasn’t because I wanted his money (God forbid)—it was because I couldn’t wrap my head around why someone so financially unstable was footing the bills for an ex who had grown children.
Speaking of Celeste, Adam had plenty to say about that trainwreck of a relationship. According to him, she was a jealous, cheating, five-foot Tasmanian devil who punched him when she was mad (but it was okay because she’s small, apparently?). She’d even call him while hooking up with other guys during their supposed monogamy, then come home and get “angrily fucked” by Adam in some twisted revenge fantasy. And yet…he stayed. Because that’s the kind of emotional rollercoaster Adam thrives on: chaotic, toxic, and endlessly dramatic.
And let’s not forget the night Adam thought they were about to swing with another couple. He started dancing with the wife and tried to kiss her—because, you know, boundaries are just a suggestion—and Celeste lost her mind. But instead of seeing any of this as the massive red flag it was, Adam just chalked it up to “oh, that’s just Celeste being Celeste.” He stayed friends with her after all that chaos because, in Adam’s world, the real red flags are just carnival decorations.
Here’s the thing, Monica: Adam told me a lot about you—a lot. But when I compared notes with other women he’s dated, it became hilariously clear that Adam has a different narrative for every single one of us. I’m sure he’s painted me as some unhinged villain in your story, just like he did to you in mine. Honestly, it would be fascinating to gather all of us in one room and compare screenshots. The sheer volume of contradictions would probably short-circuit his tiny brain.
The Third Screenshot
More to this conversation with another woman he trash talked you to.
The Fourth Screenshot
And another
Adam I’ve Tried to Tell You I’m On Your IG Account
Guess you don’t care. Whatever keep adding people and everything else.
Another Woman Adam Was Fucking and Hitting Up While We Were Supposedly Only Seeing Each Other
The Gospel According to Adam
A Masterclass in Delusion, Deception, and Dodging Responsibility
(Now with even more secondhand embarrassment!)
Hey there, ladies. Gather around. It’s me, Adam Torgison, the self-proclaimed master of seduction, manipulation, and absolutely never taking responsibility for anything in my life.
If you’re reading this, congratulations—you’ve either already made the mistake of sleeping with me, or you’re about to ignore every single red flag and do it anyway.
Let me give you a little PSA on what to expect if you fall for my tired, washed-up game.
*Maegan: The One Who Stuck Around Too Long (2019-2024)*
Ah, Maegan. The one woman who actually thought she was special. The one who got the full five-year relationship experience instead of just being a convenient hole I could cycle through between other women.
Maegan, who traveled with me, spent actual quality time with me, and was convinced I cared about her.
Maegan, who made the mistake of getting pregnant with my child.
And did I step up?
Of course not.
Did I convince her that Monica would use the baby to destroy me?
Absolutely.
Did I manipulate her while she was still high on pain meds from her C-section, pressuring her to give the baby up for adoption when she said she didn’t want to?
Naturally.
And the best part?
After she was violently assaulted, I took that horrifying, traumatic moment and fed it to one of the women I was cheating on her with—who then emailed Maegan to taunt her about it.
That’s right. That’s the level of depravity I operate at.
And now that Maegan is exposing the truth, I’m telling everyone who will listen that she’s “crazy.”Because, obviously, the problem isn’t me—it’s that she’s finally telling people who I really am.
*Celeste Sportsman: The Forever Sidepiece*
Oh, Celeste. My favorite fallback option. My go-to ex when I need an ego boost. My occasional roommate and temporary fleshlight when the mood strikes.
Did we continue hooking up for years after we supposedly ended things?
Of course we did.
Did we sleep together while she was temporarily living with me and Ava was there?
Obviously.
Did she allegedly hate me and move on, yet still somehow end up back in my bed every time?
Yup.
And Celeste, before you even think about pretending you’re too classy for this conversation, let’s just remind everyone that you let me rail you in the ass while you were using a dildo in the front for some DP action.
That’s right.
I talked about it.
I rated it.
I made sure multiple women knew about it.
Oh, and let’s not forget—when Monica got pregnant with Ava, you cried.
Why? Because how dare I move on with my life? How dare I have a baby with someone else when you were too busy treating me like your personal babysitter and sidekick to your chaotic social life?
But being the fleshlight you are we still slept together while Monica was pregnant because why not?
Monica’s gonna love knowing that we were still going at it while you were living with me. Oops.
*Monica Stengel: The One Who Keeps Me Relevant*
Monica, you and I both know I wouldn’t have a personality without you.
Did I trash-talk you relentlessly to every woman I slept with?
Oh, absolutely.
Did I rank you in my bottom 5, just to remind myself that I still have the upper hand?
You bet I did.
Did I continue to sleep with Celeste while she was crashing at my place?
You better believe it.
But don’t worry—you’ll always have a special place in my life. You gave me Ava, which means I get to play the martyr dad while avoiding accountability for everything else I’ve ever done.
*Ashlee Graves: The “Oops, I Hope You’re Really on the Pill” Affair*
The first time I fucked Ashlee?
I busted inside her immediately.
Why?
Because I don’t want kids but also don’t believe in condoms, and somehow I think that hoping for the best is a form of birth control.
Did I ghost her the second she started trying to establish control?
Yes.
Did Ashlee crawl back into my bed while she had a boyfriend?
Of course.
Did I raw-dog her and fill her up again?
Naturally.
Did I enthusiastically eat her ass like my life depended on it?
Oh, absolutely.
And then, because I’m a respectful man, I told multiple women about it afterward. And also how weird I thought it was that she didn’t want me to be with anyone else.
*Caitlin & Jenna: The Drunken Hookups & STD Roulette*
Enter Caitlin, who actually talked to Maegan and compared receipts.
While I was still with Maegan, I was actively trying to fuck Caitlin.
But wait—plot twist!
I also fucked Caitlin’s friend Jenna.
Did I know Jenna had a history of STDs?
Nope.
Did I raw-dog her anyway?
Of course.
Did I complain that Jenna smelled like cigarettes but still stick my dick in her?
Naturally.
And the best part? Caitlin was always drunk when she hooked up with me.
So, you know. Totally ethical.
*Tatyana: The One Who Saw Through My Bullshit*
Tatyana was too smart for me, and I hate that.
She told me she wanted marriage and commitment.
And while I had zero intention of giving her that, I still tried to keep sleeping with her anyway.
And the worst part? She and Maegan compared notes.
And what did she tell Maegan?
That I’m a sociopath.
And when she realized how many women I was juggling, manipulating, and lying to, she cut me off completely.
*Marsha: The One Who Needed an Incentive*
Marsha wasn’t one of those “Let’s just have fun” girls. No, she needed something in return for sex.
And what did I offer her?
A serious relationship? No.
Respect? Also no.
Marsha’s price?
McDonald’s.
That’s right.
She let me raw her in exchange for a damn McDouble.
And you know what?
I got her that McDouble, because I’m a gentleman and then I rawdogged her.
*Kelsey: The Young One*
Kelsey was in her late 20s while I was 46.
Did that stop me from trying to raw-dog her too?
Nope.
Did she talk to Maegan and let her know how I was trying to get her back in bed? Yup!
After that did she ghost me because she realized I was pathetic?
Yup.
Final Thoughts: A Love Letter to My Own Narcissism
Ladies, if you’re reading this, just know:
I will lie to you.
I will tell you what you want to hear.
I will convince you I’m “different” from the men you’ve dealt with before.
I will raw-dog you and act surprised when you develop feelings.
I will disappear the second you expect accountability.
But most importantly?
I will absolutely trash-talk you to the next woman.
Your most intimate moments?
Your secrets?
Your biggest insecurities?
Yeah, those are future conversation starters with my next victim.
So if you’re still considering sleeping with me, ask yourself this one simple question:
“Am I okay with the fact that I will 100% be rated, ranked, and ridiculed in texts with the next unsuspecting woman?”
If the answer is “yes,” then go for it.
If the answer is “no,” then run.
Because ladies, let me tell you—
I’m not a good person. But I am really, really good at pretending to be one.
Monica I’ve told countless people that on our first date I screwed you 7 times. Can we say cum slut?
A PSA for Anyone Who Spreads Their Legs for Adam Torgison
Adam ranking women. His top 5 and his worst 5.
Ladies, if you’ve ever had the misfortune of letting Adam Torgison anywhere near you, just know—when he moves on, you become a statistic.
He will rank, rate, and review you like a defective Amazon purchase to the next unsuspecting woman, who will also eventually be ranked, rated, and reviewed. He’ll tell her everything—who was tight, who was loose, who had an attitude, who was clingy, who let him do anal, and, most importantly, who was dumb enough to believe his lies.
But don’t take my word for it. Let’s talk about the women he personally rated, the texts to prove it, and the absolute secondhand shame you’re about to experience just from reading this.
Top 5 Best According to Adam’s Personal Sex Olympics:
Maegan (Me) – The woman who was his best friend, spoke to him daily, never fought with him, and traveled with him. We were together until Monica found out about me and made it her mission to ruin everything. That’s when Adam started cheating, and the person I trusted showed his true colors. He told me everything, which he’s probably regretting now because, honestly, why should I keep his dirty secrets after what he did?
Celeste (The 10-Year Leap Year Girlfriend) – Born on Leap Year, making her technically 2.5 years old in birthday math, which is fitting since Adam’s relationships are built on emotional immaturity. He was with her longer than anyone but claims she cheated on him, used him for childcare, and introduced him to his weird cuckold tendencies. She’d bring women home, hook up with them while Adam sat in the corner like a sad, clothed bystander, and then let him have her after the other woman left. Also, he did anal with her while she used a dildo in the front for some DP action. She was so upset when she found out Monica was pregnant that she cried, and Adam and Celeste continued hooking up on and off over the years—including when she lived with him temporarily while Ava was there.
Chloe (Escort We Hired for a Threesome) – I thought spicing things up could fix what Celeste broke in him, but nah, Adam is a lost cause.
Britney (Random Girl from Years Ago) – Apparently, she was so great that she beat out all the women he’s raw-dogged in recent years.
Caren (High School Sub Teacher He Hooked Up with at 19) – Ah yes, nothing like a former educator on your greatest hits list.
Top 5 Worst, aka Women Adam Wishes He Could Wipe from His Sexual History:
Marie Koch clearly left zero impression other than disappointment.
Kelsey (The Young One) – This one was in her late 20s while Adam was 46, which would be embarrassing for anyone with a functioning sense of self-awareness, but Adam just kept pushing to raw dog her.
Monica (Yes, His Baby Mama) – Look, even Adam thinks sleeping with Monica was a mistake.
Marsha (The McDonald’s Hook-Up) – Adam told me that Marsha couldn’t just fuck for fun—she needed “something in return” so she didn’t feel like a slut. And what did she ask for? A McDonald’s meal. That’s right.
This man literally bartered fast food for sex.
Aubrey (The Omaha Girl) – The hype just didn’t live up to his expectations, and we all know Adam is an esteemed dick connoisseur with high standards for performance.
Honorable Mentions in the Hall of Shame:
Ashlee Graves – She ranks somewhere around #6, despite him eating her asshole, raw dogging her, and knocking the bottom out of her multiple times. He also busted inside her the first time they hooked up because “she said she was on the pill” and Adam gambles with pregnancy risks like it’s blackjack. When she got bored and tried pulling the “Maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore” card, Adam, already done with her, hit her with the “Yeah, you’re probably right” and left her spinning. Then, when she was in a whole new relationship, she crawled back into his bed, legs wide, and let him fill her up again.
Jenna – Didn’t even make the list, but fun fact: Adam didn’t know she had a history of STDs before he fucked her raw. Stay winning, King.
Tatyana – Adam kept trying to fuck her while we were together, but she actually had self-respect and refused. She later told me (not Adam) that she didn’t even want to be his friend anymore after we compared screenshots because she realized he was a dangerous sociopath.
Caitlin – Same story. Drunk every time she hooked up with Adam. Adam went ahead and also fucked her friend Jenna without a condom, because why not?
Alexandria – She reached out to warn me that Adam had also tried to sleep with her. She has a criminal record for battery, so good luck with that, Monica.
Final Thoughts from The Ultimate Walking Red Flag:
Adam doesn’t want more kids but won’t get a vasectomy, so instead, he raw dogs half of Las Vegas and just hopes for the best. He sleeps with escorts, exes, and women in relationships, and rates and ranks every single one of them like he’s the goddamn Michelin Guide of sex.
He told me once that he gets bored of women after a couple of months—I guess that explains why he had multiple women lined up while still in a relationship with me.
And just so we’re all clear: This man had multiple threesomes with escorts and STILL tried to convince me to let him go in raw.
Adam’s entire sexual history reads like a CDC warning. If he’s texting you, do yourself a favor—block, delete, and schedule a full panel screening.
Adam’s Top 5
Adam Torgison’s Guide to “Honest” Deception
Why I’m Definitely Not a Predator, Just a Guy Who Forgets to Mention Things
(As Told by Adam Himself, Because Who Else Would Be This Important?)
Ah, welcome, my devoted audience. It’s me again—Adam Torgison, pilot, philosopher of modern dating, master of the “I never said that” defense. You may have heard some unfair, slanderous rumors about me from a handful of women who just don’t get it.
Let’s be real—Maegan, Caitlin, Tatyana, and literally any other woman trying to “warn” you about me is just bitter and emotional. Women, am I right? They think they got played when in reality, they just didn’t listen carefully enough.
How to Be “Honest” While Also Never Telling the Whole Truth
Let’s break it down. Women have this weird little thing where they want to know if the guy they’re sleeping with is also sleeping with other people. I know, wild, right? So they’ll ask things like:
“Are you seeing anyone else?”
• And what do I say? “I’m not seeing anyone else right now.” (Right now = in this exact moment. Not last night. Not tomorrow. Stay vague, kings.)
“If you were, would you tell me?”
• “Of course. I don’t lie.” (Notice how I never actually said I’m not seeing anyone? Genius.)
“You’re not talking to anyone else like this, are you?”
• “Not like this.” (Maybe I’m talking to them dirtier. Maybe sweeter. Maybe in emojis only. Who’s to say?)
“I just need to know because unprotected sex is really personal for me.”
• “Of course. I totally understand. I wouldn’t do anything to put you at risk.” (I mean, unless you count all the other women I’ve said this exact thing to.)
See what I did there? Honest. Just… not the kind of honesty that requires, you know, full disclosure.
And women eat this up. They want to believe they’re the only one, so they hear what they want to hear.
Not my fault if they don’t think to clarify.
And let’s be real—most women can’t handle rejection, especially from a pilot.
• I mean, of course you’re devastated. I fly planes.
• Do you even know how rare it is for a pilot to grace your bedroom with his presence? I could’ve been with a flight attendant, sweetie. Count your blessings.
• Women always lose their minds when I “move on without telling them.” That’s just facts.
So let’s all take a deep breath and remember—if you’re mad at me, that just means you’re obsessed. If you saved my texts, you’re crazy. And if you’re warning other women about me? That’s just proof you’re not over it.
For the Love of God, Do NOT Save My Texts and DMs
I cannot stress this enough—please, for the love of God, do not save my DMs or text messages.
Like, come on. What are you, the FBI? It’s creepy. If I wanted my words thrown back in my face later, I would’ve said them out loud where they disappear into the void, not in writing where they can be used against me in a court of public opinion.
And let’s be clear:
• It’s not lying if I say something totally contradictory in another text thread.
• It’s not my fault if you believed me instead of checking with the other three women I was sweet-talking at the same time.
• It’s not predatory if I tell every single woman I sleep with that she’s the only one while sliding into someone else’s DMs mid-thrust.
That’s just dating in 2025. Catch up.
But Is It Illegal Though? Lol Probably Not, Right?
Oh, you think misleading someone to get them to say yes to sex is wrong? Cute. Maybe in, like, an ethical sense, sure. But legally? Eh. Gray area.
I mean, California considers lying about fundamental details to get someone to sleep with you as “rape by fraud.” And some legal nerds argue that if someone consents under false pretenses, then it’s not really consent.
But, like… prove it, sweetheart.
How are you going to take me to court because I technically didn’t say I was screwing three other women at the same time as you? What’s the charge? “Being a shady piece of shit”? Not a crime. (Yet.)
And look, if you didn’t explicitly ask whether I was busting raw into someone else yesterday, then is it really my fault?
No. That’s just you not being thorough.
Final Thoughts from the Guy Who Is Definitely Not Hiding Anything
Ladies, before you throw around words like “deceptive” or “manipulative” or “habitual liar who preys on women’s trust to get laid,” please consider:
• Maybe you just misunderstood my completely ambiguous statements.
• Maybe you should’ve clarified. Not my job to volunteer information.
• Maybe Maegan, Caitlin, Tatyana, and every other woman who’s warning you is just too emotional to handle the truth.
• Maybe I’m just so honest, it loops back around to being confusing.
And honestly?
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
So, uh… who’s next?
