Adam Torgison: the man, the myth, the moral disaster

I’m like the greatest guy. I portray myself to be completely honest but all these women all thought I was only sleeping and taking to them?? However did that happen? 

“ A Memo to Monica Stengel: The Unofficial Adam Torgison Survivors Club”

Oh, Monica, if only you reached out to the women who’ve been unlucky enough to spend the past six years dealing with Adam Torgison’s greatest hits of mediocrity, you’d discover the horrifyingly common thread binding us all: his tired narrative of being the world’s greatest dad and the misunderstood victim of your jealous wrath. According to him, you’re just bitter because he rejected you. Sound familiar? It’s the same tired line he spins about every woman he’s crossed paths with. Apparently, we’re all “crazy psychos” who can’t handle rejection from a man whose life accomplishments include…well, nothing notable.

Here’s the thing about Adam: this sanctimonious, thick-headed moron actually believes that every woman who’s ever had the misfortune of being with him must be utterly devastated when he moves on. The truth? We’re just pissed that we wasted so much time with someone who thinks their mediocre dad routine and “look how misunderstood I am” schtick makes them irresistible. Newsflash, Adam: not everyone is heartbroken. Some of us are just horrified by how low our standards were.

Let’s take it back to when I was recovering from a C-section—you know, when I was physically vulnerable and emotionally raw. Adam calls me, with all the empathy of a wet sock, to guilt me into giving up my child by insisting it would “ruin Ava’s life” if I didn’t. He even threw in a bonus guilt trip about how you’d use it against him. So, while still doped up on meds, I agreed to something I didn’t want to do. And somehow, Monica, that’s my fault too? Of course, the relationship tanked, and naturally, it was all because of you, right? Except…no. Adam ruins his own relationships, all on his own.

The funniest part? This man is 50 years old, lives paycheck to paycheck, doesn’t own a house, doesn’t even own a car, and somehow thinks it’s reasonable to pay his ex’s bills. That’s right—he was paying Celeste’s bills while she conveniently had the money to travel to concerts but not to pay her rent or car registration. Make it make sense, Adam. When I pointed this out, it wasn’t because I wanted his money (God forbid)—it was because I couldn’t wrap my head around why someone so financially unstable was footing the bills for an ex who had grown children.

Speaking of Celeste, Adam had plenty to say about that trainwreck of a relationship. According to him, she was a jealous, cheating, five-foot Tasmanian devil who punched him when she was mad (but it was okay because she’s small, apparently?). She’d even call him while hooking up with other guys during their supposed monogamy, then come home and get “angrily fucked” by Adam in some twisted revenge fantasy. And yet…he stayed. Because that’s the kind of emotional rollercoaster Adam thrives on: chaotic, toxic, and endlessly dramatic.

And let’s not forget the night Adam thought they were about to swing with another couple. He started dancing with the wife and tried to kiss her—because, you know, boundaries are just a suggestion—and Celeste lost her mind. But instead of seeing any of this as the massive red flag it was, Adam just chalked it up to “oh, that’s just Celeste being Celeste.” He stayed friends with her after all that chaos because, in Adam’s world, the real red flags are just carnival decorations.

Here’s the thing, Monica: Adam told me a lot about you—a lot. But when I compared notes with other women he’s dated, it became hilariously clear that Adam has a different narrative for every single one of us. I’m sure he’s painted me as some unhinged villain in your story, just like he did to you in mine. Honestly, it would be fascinating to gather all of us in one room and compare screenshots. The sheer volume of contradictions would probably short-circuit his tiny brain.

More to this conversation with another woman he trash talked you to. 

Guess  you don’t care. Whatever keep adding people and everything else.